A couple weeks ago I read an article that talked about the choice to not start a family super soon and their reasonings for that and a lot of it talked about how having children was expensive and in lots of cases the expenses came in addition to time off work or one parent not having their income they were used to. Or how day care cost = almost how much they made at work. It said that it pressured women to give up on their career or dreams. It said many other things and overall I felt the tone was trying to justify the choice to not bring children into this world. Or not to when it is not convenient for you.
I don't think it will ever be convenient.
I do believe that the timing of when you have children is completely up to you and your spouse and the Lord, and that it is a very personal thing, and what is right for one couple is not right for everyone else. Everyone's circumstances are different and the Lord knows your heart and your desires.
Yes when you become a parent you have to give up certain things. That is how we grow. We were sent here to learn and to progress and the perfect setting for that is a family.
The world will tell you that to become a mom you have to give up your schooling, your career, your physical appearance, your dreams, your desires, your world travels, and your time. The world will tell you to do EVERYTHING you want to do or have ever wanted to do before you have kids, because when you have kids you won't have the time or money to do those things.
In my short time as a mom I have found none of this to be the case if I look a little deeper than just the surface.
Yes a baby can be expensive. When we had our baby girl, we had hospital bills, tuition was due, and a whole bunch of unplanned expenses and circumstances. My husband lost his job. I was no longer working my two jobs, because I just had our baby girl. There is no way that we should have been able to pay those bills. But then a miracle happened. Random jobs or things came up that covered just what we needed. We continued to pay our tithing. Help came when we needed it most. Little blessings and miracles that could easily have been overlooked happened. And we noticed them. I know we were blessed for keeping the commandments and doing our best and by having a family we were blessed. The Lord will not desert you in your time of need if you are doing everything you can and are striving to do what is right. That was by no means an easy time in our lives, I was a little angry at first, but I knew things would eventually work out. Even if it didn't happen until right at the very very very last moment. But they did.
It is hard to be patient and trust in God's plan for your life. But His plan is so much better than mine could ever be.
A lot of people say that they are hesitant to bring children into this world because it is such a crazy and sometimes scary place to be. I can relate to some of those same worries. However, when I look at my baby girl I am reminded of what a wonderful spirit she has. I know that this was the plan for her to come to Earth at THIS time, she was held in reserve for many many years. If our Heavenly Father sent her here at this time than who am I to say otherwise? I know that not only is this the right time for her, but I was sent to this Earth in this generation for a reason as well. We may not know all of those reasons, but our Father in Heaven does, and we had faith in those reasons before we came to this Earth and accepted the Plan of Salvation .
"In the Premortal Realm Spirit sons and daughters knew and worshiped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.- The Family
The First commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare the God's commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife."
A Proclamation to the World
Is being a mom always easy? No it is not. I lose my patience and get frustrated and sometimes it is very hard. But it is worth it. Not only am I teaching this precious spirit, but she is also teaching me and helping ME to learn and to grow. She has already blessed mine and my husband's life in more ways than we have ever imagined.
Some days I let the world in and wish I had a dishwasher, a house, a washer and dryer, more money, nicer clothes, more vacations, etc. Yes I think I will always struggle a little bit in those areas. I need to be happy with what I have and that is not always easy. But then I remember that those things don't bring happiness. They do not put their arms around me and look into my eyes with a sweet smile on their face. They do not love me unconditionally like my baby girl does. They do not tug on my pant leg when I am sad and cheer me up. They do not rest their head in my arms and blow kisses and bring me an indescribable joy that I never knew I could feel. I can only imagine Heavenly Father's love for each one of His precious children, we have only had our baby girl for just one year now and I love her so so dearly. I am so grateful for the peace and comfort the Gospel of Jesus Christ brings me. I am so grateful to know that my family can be together forever and that is what matters most. We were sent to this Earth not only to endure and work and gain riches that we cannot take with us. We were sent here to enjoy life and grow and learn and progress and we can take that with us as well. Families can be eternal and that is so wonderful to me, I would not want it any other way. It is so comforting to know that family relationships can be perpetuated beyond the grave and that there IS more. I am so grateful for that knowledge and I am so grateful for my little family.
So if you are scared and afraid to give up things and become a mom and bring children into this world I just want to say take heart :) You are not alone. The work of a mother is not only your work, but it is also God's work and He will help you every step of the way.
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